My drug of choice and how to manage my disease

The word 'disease' is an interesting one - meaning literally 'dis-ease' being uncomfortable with something and I must say that bipolar/manic depression is an extremely uncomfortable illness.  My drug of choice (apart from the medication I am usually on) is reading and I read obsessively when I am feeling really down.  However, my concentration is knackered and I find myself reading and re-reading the same pages.  When I feel up I still enjoy reading, but I am not so obsessed with it.

I am enormously grateful to Stephen Fry for his frankness about his bipolar condition as this means I no longer feel quite so guilty about my own behaviour/inability to work etc.  The only way I can describe my depression is I feel like I am wading through treacle; it is almost impossible to put one foot in front of the other.  I can barely get out of bed, don't want to socialise, don't want to look at my post or e-mails and generally behave in a 'head under the duvet' manner.  I am fortunate in having a lovely man who enjoys cooking so that at least I eat.  If I was on my own I doubt I would eat or drink adding malnutrition to my other difficulties.   Sadly, he has an aversion to housework (as do I at the best of times) so our home becomes uncontrollably messy, but I can tackle that when I feel better.

This last down draught has been rather drawn out, especially as I thought trying some of the exercises cognitive therapy has taught would help me more.  However, the therapist said that I had 'too high expectations' this time.  One day ...