Facebook and the Farmyard Game

A lot of my younger Facebook friends seem to play a weird game online – something to do with farm animals.  It seems to exercise their minds a great deal and there are odd comments on their pages saying things like so-and-so reports a pig in their farmyard.  Well, here are some for them:-

Mick Jagger/The Rolling Stones had a hit record about ‘a little red rooster’.

There’s a 60s film called ‘Poor Cow’.

There were ‘some pigs who were more equal than others’ in George Orwell’s Animal Farm – now I’m showing off my literary knowledge.

And now for a biblical quote, ‘all we like sheep have gone astray’ – can’t you tell I got RK A-level?

There’s a beer called ‘Speckled Hen’ and another called ‘the Dog’s B......s’, but my partner says I am becoming more and more foul-mouthed by the day so I’m not writing the word and there are plenty of ‘bores’ (boars) in pubs drinking said beer.

And while I’m on the subject of booze, there’s Bull’s Blood which is a wine from Hungary – well, it started there I am reliably informed by Wikipedia.

Mary had a little ‘lamb’ and many of us carnivores eat it with mint sauce.

People ‘duck and dive’ in business and I think they might in the farmyard game, but since I don’t play it …  And there’s the politically incorrect comment about someone suffering with  ‘duck’s disease’ being a short person who therefore has a ‘low-down bum’ who wipes out their footprints as they walk.

Then there’s the expression that someone’s ‘cooked their goose’ on the same lines as ‘shot their bolt’ or ‘made their bed and must therefore lie on it’ ….  and the ‘Goosie Goosie gander’ of nursery rhyme fame.

‘Turkey neck’ is to be avoided at all costs by those of us of a certain age.  I shudder at the thought of plastic surgery so cover mine up with pearls, beads or neck scarves.


And here's a picture of an animal you'd never see in a farmyard.

You used to hear about a ‘bull market’ and ‘bullish’ shares in the City, but those expressions are rarely heard these days given the state of the economy.

Some men have those horrible ‘goatee’ beards – I suppose leaping about like a ‘mountain goat’ doesn’t quite fit the farmyard criteria.

‘A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse’ – that’s another animal that no self-respecting farmer should be without.

And ‘cat’s eyes’ – most farms have cats to keep the rats down which suggests farms have rats – there’s that awful puppet-thing called Roland Rat, people ‘rat’ on each other – I don’t of course.

I reckon that covers most farmyards animals, so here you are Facebook Farmyard lovers – I put them all into your farmyard and hope that will finish the fatuous game.