Slogans and ‘cool’ phrases

Walking down The Cut recently, I spotted a young man sporting a t-shirt with the words, ‘I make beautiful babies’ emblazoned on his chest.  I pondered on this for a while and then thought what a ridiculous but quite possibly truthful boast.  For a good-looking man with an average or high sperm count, it is easy to father babies (perhaps even beautiful ones), although that is largely down to genetics/luck), but that doesn’t mean he can actually bring them up (that takes a real man! usually with the help of a woman!  Of course an arrogant so and so like this man might not stand a chance – would you ‘bother’ fellow-woman?

 I thought perhaps, as a woman past her prime, it would be worth me wearing a t-shirt with the slogan ‘I can’t bear children’ on it, but as I rather like them it wouldn’t do much for my street cred.   My partner often says, when asked if he likes children, ‘Yes, but I can’t manage more than one at a time’.

Can’t bear the slogans like ‘Slut’ or ‘I’m a virgin’ which I find odd in the extreme – are they boasting or complaining?  These are very much on a par with the signs on cars saying ‘baby on board’ – same question applies.  I have seen signs on cars saying, ‘if you can read this sign, you are too close’ and wonder how many accidents happen and is it one of those insurance scams?  I find myself rather offended by the ‘Little Monster on board’ comments rather worrying – who would want to admit that their child is one, even if they are?

And now to the ‘in’ phrases – ‘see you later’ from a complete stranger with whom you have exchanged a few words such as ‘where is …’ or ‘turn left, right …’ etc.  The chances of you seeing that person ever again, let alone ‘later’ is negligible so why ….?

‘No problem’ used to be an expression of note – it usually meant, ‘I’ll do it when I feel like it, you tosser – stop hassling me!’ or even ‘I’ve no intention of doing it at all, but haven’t the heart or the honesty to admit it’.

Then there was ‘groovy’ which was around when half the population were either on acid or smoking ‘herbal substances’ in the 60s/70s.  It had a brief resurgence in the 80s I think, probably when half the population were on Ecstasy which seemed to spawn a number of gurning, dancing idiots – still, better than fighting, something which happened quite frequently in nightclubs before its advent. 

That is 'so cool’ is another expression (probably uncool by now) and I have penned a few lines about it in a poem:-

Cool

What do you mean, ‘cool’

The mother said, frowning

I’m not such a fool

So please stop your clowning.

It’s quite warm today

So cool isn’t right

It means it’s in fashion

Her son said with might

And considerable passion.

She still didn’t get it

And wondered for hours

Shook her head for a bit

Then planted some flowers.