The Chaos Theory of Housework

I remain a bit of a stranger to housework - don't know the last time I used the iron and the ironing board is at the back of a very cluttered cupboard. Our flat is littered with books I am reading, about to read, have taken off the shelves and not returned (my excuse is that I have to use steps to put them away); in the sitting room the computer desk is covered in bits of paper, pens, magazines and mail, some open, some not.

In the corner of the room are two tool boxes and by the radiator several bits of computer, which my partner is, allegedly, using to improve the computer. I have yet to see an improvement, but it keeps him happy. I fall over the toolboxes often, reminding me that I should look down more, given our propensity for not putting stuff away. We have an overflowing filing tray and 'to do' basket - to do means, loosely, will be done some time within the next two or three months, except when I have an appointment and have to plough through it all to find the relevant paperwork required. We are so disorganised we sometimes end up buying something again because we can't find the original and then end up with three of something. Very wasteful!

I try not to worry about the consistent state of chaos and remind myself of the axiom which I ascribe to of 'only dull women have tidy kitchens' but sometimes wonder if my partner would enjoy a bit of a dullard for the price of a clean home. I have suggested he try living with my oldest sister whose home is always tidy and he looks alarmed at the prospect, so maybe there is something to not being too fussy!

When I am very bored perhaps I shall do the housework, but I doubt that. As soon as I have nothing to do, I find something I like doing and that's that. Interestingly, I clean for a neighbour - his place is cleaner than mine before I start the cleaning! I can manage to do it because it is so tidy and I am getting paid. My partner suggested paying me, but since what's his is mine, there is no point.

Enough of housework except to reiterate, 'only very dull women have tidy kitchens'.

And didn't Quentin Crisp say,'the dust doesn't get any thicker after three years'?